Lonliness is next to Godliness?

This weeks time magazine includes excerpts from a beloved woman-of-God's struggle against depression and loneliness. Mother Teresa writes things like, "Lord, my God, who am I that you should forsake me? The child of your Love-and now become as the most hated one-the one-you have thrown away as unwanted-unloved. I call, I cling, I want-and there is no One to answer--no one on whom I can cling-no, No One.--Alone...Where is my faith." She goes on like this over and over again in letters to her confessors. She writes to the Rev. Lawrence Picachy, "Tell me, Father, why is there so much pain and darkness in my soul?"

I haven't read the entire article yet, but I am sort of in shock. Every time I read of a great respected leader's personal struggles it always shatters my perception of who they were. I would think I should know by now that leadership can be a lonely place. Take King David's lamenting in the psalms, or Jobs painful pleas to end his life--great men throughout the bible have lived through loneliness and doubt, and we see it today as well.

Dorie and I have been through our own Valleys and have tasted a little bit of what Mother Teresa describes. Those nights of utter loneliness and confusion when you feel like you have lost everything-even the presence of God. Those times when you can't muster even a seed of hope and all you can see ahead is darkness.

In those times, we simply have stood on the promises of God. One time, I just looked at this little wood carving of the word "hope" on our book shelf until I could feel a twinge of it again. No, we are not perfect and leadership can be a lonely place, but I heard it said once that on the other side of Loneliness is God's presence.

But the good news is that David writes about a God that is with us even when we, "walk through the valley of the shadow of death." There is nothing like coming through a valley experience to build your faith, but better yet to show you how much our Father loves us.

I pray for my students that when they are on the mission field and find themselves in a valley that they will stand firm on the promise of God to bring them through. It is something I cannot teach them, but they will have to walk through on their own. I believe in you guys!